The Chris Gupta Write-Alike Contest!

[Steve DeGaetano]

An episode of my favorite shows from the 1970s, M*A*S*H, had a bit where the unit personnel had a "Father Mulcahy Sound-Alike Contest," where the distinctive vocal inflections of the camp priest were humorously mimicked.

Here's my on-line version: The Chris Gupta write-alike contest.

Now, Chris is one of the most prolific members of this board, and his enthusiasm is often infectious. But as most of you know, Chris' style is, well, "unique." Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, and this is my hopefully humorous take on Chris' style. Chris, I hope you take this in the spirit it's intended!

After everyone submits an entry, I would ask Steve of Matt (or both) to be judges. No prizes, but hopefully a few laughs along the way!

Here goes:

I remember the time I was using my metal detector on the beach and I came across this beautiful forlorn little steam engine. It was a Hartland Lilly Belle, and to me, she was the most beautiful lost little girl I had ever seen (but don?t tell my girlfriend Erika that she runs second to a plastic toy train). Sure, there was sand in her flues and I knew she would need a lot of tender loving care, but I knew that in return, she would be faithful to me like no other, and I would love her and love her like a guy who really loves trains.

I dug her out of the sand and stared deeply into her eyes (well, really, her headlight nozzel). I knew she just wanted to be loved. I and I wanted to love her. Desperately. So I took her home and into my backshop for the first of what I hope to be many randomly chosen overhauls.

There, I donned a welding mask, my leather gloves and a blowtorch, and began to get to work. I removed the cab and boiler, and had a good look at the frame. The shop that built her was a little sloppy, and so I removed the drivers and checked the tram. She was square. Then I went about inspecting the cylinder castings. My magnetometer revealed no cracking, which made me feel good. I knew that we were getting off to a good relationship, one that would last through the decades of hard operation she and I would be doing together. Then I began a major boiler inspection. Again, the magnetometer revealed no cracks, but I did find a significant amount of scale. A needle gun took care of that right away, but the damage that it caused the plastic boiler shell was too much, and I had to order another one from Hartland.

Her smokey stack was in good condition?amazingly, hardly any cinders remained. Her 15-brass bell had the sweetest sound one could imagine?which is pretty much all I could do anyway, since it was a non-working bell. Her single-chime Powelunkenheimer whistle reflected in the sun like?well, like a piece of brass in the sun. I could tell right then and there that this engine would be my absolute most best favorite engine in my entire stable, except for the Fred Gurley, which I think may or may not be my other best favorite because her sound system is recorded directly from the real Gurley, or so I read on an internet site I?ve really come to trust called ?Disneylies.com.?

The tender frame was in good shape, and only required a bit of work to make it run real nice.

When I operate this engine, I know what true love and bliss is. She is one of the most powerful engines on the line, and she is my runner, a runner's runner like no runner ever ran. When I run her I get a tingling feeling all over, but I suppose that could be because sometimes I stand barefoot on the track. When the engine is steaming just right, she talks to me and tells me how much she appreciates all the work I did for her. And she also tells me to set fire to things, but I think she's just kidding! :laugh: :laugh: :;):

All the guys in the club marvel at the sight of this little lost pony that I brought back to life. She is the most beautiful creation ever created, and to be near her is one of the great joys in my life. Since she just joined the fleet, I know I won?t have to take her out of service for any major overhauls anytime soon, but of course that can change at any time.

Or not.



Edited By Steve DeGaetano on 1127432485

[Ed Kelley]

Too articulate and gramatically sound!

Here's my entry:

"I named my Hartland Eureka after my girl friend Erika for personal reasons but she dose not want to know if i post on these boards. It has a real nice little head lamp nozzel, russianiron blue boiler jacket, and a diamond smokey stack. Its a real nice smokey stack so I didnt have to buy a new smoky stack for her. i lover her more than anything (even my girl friend Erika but maybe not more than my parents) Disneyland Engine 1 CK Holliday is my runner and the crew says she is a sweat steamer (but engine 5 Ward Kimball is my favorite at Disneyland, and engine 4 Ernest S Marsh is my favorite on the Disneyland Railroad) and she knows just what I want and hooked me up with a hot girl, but Roaring Camp Heisler #2 Tuolumne Heisler is the most beautiful girl in the world and i lover her more than anything, she is the reason i get up in the morning and work hard in school so some day i can drive her (even no matter how people say railfans lover her) I helped in her restoration where she got a new diamond smokey-stack and four chime whistle built by the enginehousemen, that hooter is too loud for my little ears and i dont want it back :p if she were ever sent to the scrap yard i would lose the will to live. Sonora Seven is also a nice engine and so is number one Dixianna Shay but #2 is my runner, Sonora 7 had a Star Brass fivechime whistle which was brought up to Hunterspoint at the G.G.R.R.M. and put on S.P. 2467 during her doubel-head steamup with 2472. When I heard the George Town Loop was going to stop running I called Roaring Camp and other railroads to see if they wanted to buy their trains from Ashbys and they said they were interested. I called Roaring Camp yesterday and they said Sonora Seven would be running, its good to see Sonora Seven run again because the General and Texas wont steam again thanks to Sick Flaggs I drove Graniterock 0-6-0 #10 in Sacramento and I can volunteer there in college where I am going to learn to drive steam locomotives on the Disneyland railroad but for now i will work on old steamers and work hard at the car wash to buy the G scale LGB Catatonk Heisler "



Edited By Ed Kelley on 1127464653

[FreakOuter84]

"Dued..... Chris got severed....."

[Chris]

Dudes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :p Is that all you got??? Com'on, you could do better than that. :p :laugh:

THANK YOU...THANK YOU VERY MUCH. :blues:



Edited By Chris on 1127443631

[CustomFabricatorsFreak]

Dudes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :p Is that all you got??? Com'on, you could do better than that. :p :laugh:

THANK YOU...THANK YOU VERY MUCH. :blues:

I remember the time I was using my metal detector on the beach and I came across this beautiful forlorn little steam engine. It was a Hartland Lilly Belle, and to me, she was the most beautiful lost little girl I had ever seen (but don?t tell my girlfriend Erika that she runs second to a plastic toy train). Sure, there was sand in her flues and I knew she would need a lot of tender loving care, but I knew that in return, she would be faithful to me like no other, and I would love her and love her like a guy who really loves trains.

I dug her out of the sand and stared deeply into her eyes (well, really, her headlight nozzel). I knew she just wanted to be loved. I and I wanted to love her. Desperately. So I took her home and into my backshop for the first of what I hope to be many randomly chosen overhauls.

There, I donned a welding mask, my leather gloves and a blowtorch, and began to get to work. I removed the cab and boiler, and had a good look at the frame. The shop that built her was a little sloppy, and so I removed the drivers and checked the tram. She was square. Then I went about inspecting the cylinder castings. My magnetometer revealed no cracking, which made me feel good. I knew that we were getting off to a good relationship, one that would last through the decades of hard operation she and I would be doing together. Then I began a major boiler inspection. Again, the magnetometer revealed no cracks, but I did find a significant amount of scale. A needle gun took care of that right away, but the damage that it caused the plastic boiler shell was too much, and I had to order another one from Hartland.

Her smokey stack was in good condition?amazingly, hardly any cinders remained. Her 15-brass bell had the sweetest sound one could imagine?which is pretty much all I could do anyway, since it was a non-working bell. Her single-chime Powelunkenheimer whistle reflected in the sun like?well, like a piece of brass in the sun. I could tell right then and there that this engine would be my absolute most best favorite engine in my entire stable, except for the Fred Gurley, which I think may or may not be my other best favorite because her sound system is recorded directly from the real Gurley, or so I read on an internet site I?ve really come to trust called ?Disneylies.com.?

The tender frame was in good shape, and only required a bit of work to make it run real nice.

When I operate this engine, I know what true love and bliss is. She is one of the most powerful engines on the line, and she is my runner, a runner's runner like no runner ever ran. When I run her I get a tingling feeling all over, but I suppose that could be because sometimes I stand barefoot on the track. When the engine is steaming just right, she talks to me and tells me how much she appreciates all the work I did for her. And she also tells me to set fire to things, but I think she's just kidding!

All the guys in the club marvel at the sight of this little lost pony that I brought back to life. She is the most beautiful creation ever created, and to be near her is one of the great joys in my life. Since she just joined the fleet, I know I won?t have to take her out of service for any major overhauls anytime soon, but of course that can change at any time.

"I named my Hartland Eureka after my girl friend Erika for personal reasons. It has a real nice little head lamp nozzel, russianiron blue boiler jacket, and a diamond smokey stack. Its a real nice smokey stack so I didnt have to buy a new smoky stack for her. i lover her more than anything (even my girl friend Erika but maybe not more than my parents) Disneyland Engine 1 CK Holliday is my runner and the crew says she is a sweat steamer (but engine 5 Ward Kimball is my favorite at Disneyland, and engine 4 Ernest S Marsh is my favorite on the Disneyland Railroad) and she knows just what I want and hooked me up with a hot girl, but Roaring Camp Heisler #2 Tuolumne Heisler is the most beautiful girl in the world and i lover her more than anything, she is the reason i get up in the morning and work hard in school so some day i can drive her (even no matter how people say railfans lover her) I helped in her restoration where she got a new diamond smokey-stack and four chime whistle built by the enginehousemen, that hooter is too loud for my little ears and i dont want it back if she were ever sent to the scrap yard i would lose the will to live. Sonora Seven is also a nice engine and so is number one Dixianna Shay but #2 is my runner, Sonora 7 had a Star Brass fivechime whistle which was brought up to Hunterspoint at the G.G.R.R.M. and put on S.P. 2467 during her doubel-head steamup with 2472. When I heard the George Town Loop was going to stop running I called Roaring Camp and other railroads to see if they wanted to buy their trains from Ashbys and they said they were interested. I called Roaring Camp yesterday and they said Sonora Seven would be running, its good to see Sonora Seven run again because the General and Texas wont steam again thanks to Sick Flaggs I drove Graniterock 0-6-0 #10 in Sacramento and I can volunteer there in college where I am going to learn to drive steam locomotives on the Disneyland railroad but for now i will work on old steamers and work hard at the car wash to buy the G scale LGB Catatonk Heisler "

Chris Gupta (Heisler Dude)

C.K. Holiday has become the poet of my heart.

hahahaha what can be better than all the qoutes :p



Edited By CustomFabricatorsFreak on 1127444490

[train freak]

Five smilies will show my opinion of this topic just fine
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:



Edited By train freak on 1127448219

[train freak]

oh and five more

[train freak]

:p :p
This emotion always makes me laugh :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
(taken from the comedy on the boards topic)



Edited By train freak on 1127448184

[CustomFabricatorsFreak]

[Chris]

Hey look, I'm Mr. Powell. :blues: Johnny Powell babe. THANK YOU...THANK YOU VERY MUCH. :blues:

I did that for the fun of it. :p